Learning to Rest

I’m learning to rest, or should I say He is teaching me to rest. It is so easy to neglect rest and many of us don’t even know what rest even means. It’s not just taking a nap (if you’re lucky enough to get one of those). Rest is not just not working but doing something that refills, refuels, and replenishes us.

Women, I believe are more susceptible to lack of rest than men simply because of our nature. The fact that we are Wives, Mothers, and just Women in general we may lack refueling rest.

To be helpers, helpmates, nurtures, communicators it ALL takes effort and it ALL can drain us because of the exertion involved or required. People come to rely on us in every area. From work inside and outside of the home to the way, we do things with the special touch that we put on the things we do well.

People in our lives can come to expect our way of doing things. In other words, we can spoil people. There, I said it lol.

We always hear talk about Balance but I don’t hear much about Rest.

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Some of us believe we have a life that doesn’t permit rest…but God calls us to rest and after HE made everything HE rested Genesis 2:2-3 We hear so many messages about “balance” but I don’t hear much about resting. It’s as if as long as we can keep all the balls in the air and “balance” them exertion is okay…?

We are so prone to not asking for help or worse we say; no one else can do it but me and so we sacrifice rest for duty.

This communicates to ourselves and to others that we are okay with that…even if we are not. Even the Energizer Bunny runs out of energy at some point.

Some of us are so ragged and haggard, weary, and burnout that we have just the bare-minimum robotic way of life. We have made our lives robotic and we are Exhausted.

I was exhausted.

Learning to Rest: The Type of Rest You Need

Learning to rest seriously took some intentional effort and I’m learning there is a particular type of rest that I need based on my life and personality. There is a particular type of rest that you need as well. Here are a few types I’ve realized that I need.

Mental Rest: There are different types of rest and I have found that I have to allow my mind a break. As someone who is constantly learning, reading books (I’m a book hoarder), researching, studying, communicating, I have to have mental breaks. Mental rest looks like not taking in certain types of news, information, and honestly, sometimes it is simply being quiet. Gasp! This coming from someone that is a natural communicator is tough.

Sometimes it means I don’t make any tough decisions that day that can wait until the next. Maybe I open the mail and make the call tomorrow.

Spiritual Rest: I have to be able to hear from God and not just constantly study, but also listen. That can be hard for me to do. But I find that when I get really intentional about my time at least trying to be quiet before God I feel comfort like nothing else. Jesus says “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Prayer and spending time in the word beyond my Devotional is key.

Physical Rest:  Taking a break from cooking, cleaning, errand running, list-making, and other types of “doing.”  I will take a break from cooking and pick up something from the freezer section and let the Hubs “cook.” If clothes need to be washed I wait until the next day.

Sensory Rest: This one is really important for me and when I look back this has always been my leaning. I can’t have too much going on that requires my senses. Mainly my ears, as much as I love to talk, listen to music, and podcasts (Side note: Did you know I have a Podcast? listen here). As I was saying, I have to have sounds that are not mentally stimulating. I need quiet to put it simply. Overpowering scents bother me too when I feel exhausted and frazzled so do bright lights and loud noises. *Like my son whining, squealing or yelling. SMH

P.S Resting is Self-Care and pampering, well we can talk about that in a separate post.

Learning to Rest: You Don’t Have To Do It All

Some of us are exhausted from doing work that we told ourselves only we could/should do. This is a detriment to our own rest. We steal the space and opportunity for other people to show up and be challenged to do “that” work that we are holding so tightly to. The work we assume can’t get done without us.

But the fact of the matter is most of the time someone else can do it even if it’s not done the way we would like. That was for somebody!

Sheeesh,  let it go, girl!

“Reminder everything doesn’t have to be done today. There are things that can wait and guess what else? Someone else is capable of what you think only you can do.”

Style And Stewardship

Your husband ate something before you came along, just saying. 

We need to give ourselves space to give others space and have just as much grace for ourselves as we do for others.

I want to get into a rhythm with God that is sustaining and replenishing. I’m guessing you do too. I feel like when I am listening and spending time with God He teaches me so much you can read that post here.

Truthfully, I feel like God has been trying to speak “rest” to my spirit for over a year.

HE knew what was coming and I hate that I didn’t better prepare (at the start of His prompting). I even spoke about resting to someone else and assumed I had some “word” to give to someone else. What’s hilarious is that God was patient with me as I’ve come to realize rest was a word for me.

Learning to Rest: Burnout Is So Real

Don’t we all get to a point where we feel like we have completely run out of air? That’s what It feels like to me and it’s different for us all. But burnout is so real! 

For me, it feels like I can’t create anything good. I’m too drained to do the things I Love. I’m snippy, irritable, frustrated, agitated, attitudinal, and not fun to be around. I don’t even like me when I’m like that. Sheesh

I have a lack of creativity and motivation to do anything beyond my self-claimed duties or daily tasks.

Maybe someone reading this has felt the weight of “everybody’s” everything. But here’s the thing if you have poor or non-existent boundaries it’s because you neglected (I neglected) to put them in place. Please don’t put yourself on the Backburner for too long. You can read about that here

Don’t wait for the need for true rest to boil over like a volcano. Don’t wait for the utter exhaustion to show up to begin asking God what rest looks like for you, in Him during this season.

Look at and look for the resources that are all around. Utilize the ones that will be like the first domino to fall over and make your circumstances and the ability for space to rest take shape little by little. Schedule in rest into your week because you matter too.

Learning To Rest: It Looks Different To Each Of Us

For me, resting looks different depending on what I need and I recently heard a podcast that was the most Succinct explanation of rest that I have ever heard. 

It’s not a topic that I’ve heard preached as far as I can remember. Maybe it was but it just didn’t hit me like it did when God led me with small breadcrumbs and hints to the resources that have all pointed to rest. 

He truly has been gently guiding me to rest for over a year.

Which always points back to Him (isn’t that interesting and also not accidental) wink.

We need rest in every season and in some, we have to be creative about how to obtain that refueling rest. We need to get more creative about spending time with God. He truly does honor the time that we intentionally put aside for Him.

When I listened to this (Episode, of Chrystal Evans Hurst Podcast: Healing Trough Rest) God reminded me yet again my need for it…in Him.

Learning To Rest: Finding Rest

Here’s the thing I’m not sharing this post today because I’ve figured it out. I’m still a student of what real replenishing rest even means. I’m sifting through my day-to-day in the midst of this pandemic just like you.

**If you are reading this beyond the Covid-19 pandemic. Let me say in advance: I’m grateful we are on the other side and through the Pandemic!

Breaks are great and taking time off is necessary but I have also experienced that I have had time off and I still had the feeling that I was lacking that replenishing aspect. Now after listening to that succinct explanation by Dr. Dalton-Smith I can articulate what type of rest I’m working on getting. I’m also trying to be more intentional about prayer time and bible reading.

So what about you? Are you exhausted and burnout beyond the physical? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Check out Dr. Dalton-Smith’s website and the free Quiz on what type of Rest you may need. It is truly informative.

Til Next time

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